This is an object of contention between my current ladyfriend and I. How did you guys work it out? She likes to go to bed by 10pm and I am a stay up and code till 2am kinda guy. She comes and yells at me about it.
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Having a pooing crying machine helps fix your schedule. You both sleep when the baby does.
Having been married for eleven years I think my wife has finally accepted I'm not going to change (and I have long since accepted that she won't either). She's a 9pm-6:30am kind of gal and I'm a 2:30am-10am kind of guy. But, sure, through the years this has definitely been an area of contention. Now, we both find it convenient, I put the kids to bed while she watches TV or reads and I get to sleep in (on the weekends at least) while she cares for the kids.
Basically, I adopted the only viable strategy. I compromise. :)
With my current schedule, I need to be at work at 8. So my midnight oil burning ways doesn't really work for me either. I've noticed in my advanced age that computer time before bed doesn't typically result in a good sleep experience as well.
When I'm too hopped up to sleep, I read in bed.
My girlfriend goes to bed at 10pm and I go to bed at 2:30+ am.
But I do the dishes before coming to bed.
So far it's been working pretty well. I get my alone time when I'm up late, she gets her alone time before she falls asleep. We both need our alone time, might as well get it when the schedules don't match up.
Interesting. She doesn't kvetch about having to go to bed alone? Because mine does! Do you guys wake up at the same time? My lady likes to get up at 7am and go running, then she comes back and cooks both of us breakfast, so that is one perk of her going to bed first I guess.
> She doesn't kvetch about having to go to bed alone? Because mine does!
I try to make sure to "put her to bed" where she then spends the next hour or two on her phone. The hard part is getting back out of bed if I'm tired, but I'm usually not tired that early.
> Do you guys wake up at the same time?
Nope. She has to get up at 8 so she can be at work by 9. I have to get up by 9:45 so I can be at work by 10.
The core of our day-to-day interaction happens in the evening between the time I come back from the gym and her bedtime. And we also have Saturdays where the whole day is reserved for being spent together.
Why does she yell at you??
"let's cuddle" "let's have sex" "I miss snuggling" "I don't want to go to sleep alone" "we never spend time together" "I can't sleep when you're not there" "I'm bored" blah blah blah.
She even emailed me some article about how Priscilla Chan made Zuckerberg sign some agreement to cuddle x amount of hours when they were dating before she would agree to move out here to be with him.
I mean, I like cuddling generally and I like sex but I have a bunch of side projects and I get a lot of work done at night! So I've started "putting her to bed" and then coming out to do work. But the problem is sometimes we have sex and then I fall asleep cuddling her, so it's kind of a trap.
> So I've started "putting her to bed" and then coming out to do work
That is EXACTLY how I handle this
> But the problem is sometimes we have sex and then I fall asleep cuddling her, so it's kind of a trap.
Me having to sleep with a CPAP (or else horrible snoring and horrible sleep for us both) ensures that this will never occur with me (the falling-asleep-cuddling... not the sex... lol)
Tough duty. My heart goes out to you.