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I always find it really interesting how people handle crisis situations. Some stop in shocked horror. Others run, both away and toward the crisis. Some people get shaken up, while others can remain calm, and even turn commanding and controlling (not in an egotistical way) and people follow their orders, sometimes not even knowing the person.

Of course, what I've noticed is that once the crisis is over, the calm people start kind of doing their own processing and freakouts. I guess that's what courage is - freaking out later.

Speaking as a former commercial pilot - the training involved in getting to that seat involved SO much immersion in emergency situations, that it became pretty much a habitual response to react in a methodological fashion.

We often joked that we should have got a 50% discount on the twin engine training component during flight school because we spent more time flying around on one engine instead of two!

Personally, I don't think I used to handle emergency situations well before I did my flying training. There was no neural plan to approach a problem in a sensible way. AFTER I completed my 12 month long commercial pilot course though, I had a whole new way to approach a critical problem, with a view to assessing, managing, controlling, eliminating and processing it.

I guess it is the same with people trained in the military, police, medical first responders etc. You become accustomed to seeing the parts of the problem that are outside your control, and parts that you can effect an immediate difference. You also learn to ignore the 'noise' and to quickly change your course of action and decision making as soon as you realise you are on the wrong track.

It is certainly something that can be learned/taught, I believe. But you are right in that this process also essentially masks the human side of things, and can create problems later, when your core personality comes back into play and you start asking the 'what if' questions. At least, that is the way it manifests for myself personally, after the crisis is past.

Private pilot with a commercial rating here.

One of the things most people don't know is how much commercial flight is dominated by checklists. I always joked if a UFO ever landed on the wing of a 777 the pilot would look over and say "Bob, what's the checklist for UFO landings?"

There's a ton of crisis response and critical thinking, sure, but one of the "tricks" is so much mental clutter is completely eliminated by the appropriate use of checklists. It frees the crew up to focus on the problem instead of all the details.

That is pretty much the crux of it - EVERYTHING is broken down into a step by step approach to make a decision path easier. For instance, (as you yourself would have been taught), one of the first things I remember my instructor hammering home to me in the case of an engine failure (in our single engine trainer) was:

1. DO NOT be tempted to do a 180 and turn back to the runway, as it will result in almost guaranteed death. 2. Immediately push the nose down to maintain airspeed. 3. Look for a road/field/clearing 30 degrees to each side of the nose to put the aircraft down in

Just remembering those 3 critical things as soon as you hear the engine cut out just eliminates those crucial seconds of wavering and indecision which could mean the difference between life and death. Just starting the process off by doing these 3 things kick starts your brain into 'problem solving' mode, instead of flailing around in panic mode.

There are a LOT more steps afterwards, including ascertaining WHY the engine failed, communicating with the tower etc., but they are all moot unless you maximise your time in the air by doing especially (2) and (3).

I think you both have an excellent point about training kicking in. Many years ago I had done the professional CPR training, and I think even that has made me think about emergency situations that may happen around me differently. Also training for hazardous workplaces, etc. I still know it's down in there somewhere if necessary.
I knew a guy in a twin-engine Beech that had the right engine go into beta just after take-off. His quick and correct actions made the difference between dying and just a bumpy, unpleasant landing on a highway.

When that kind of thing happens, the last thing in the world you want to do is waste any mental cycles on trivia.

For anyone who wants to learn more about checklists, I highly recommend "Checklist Manifesto" by Atul Gawande.
I've been the calm person in the middle of crisis.

And yes, I did my freak out later. And boy, did I freak out.

I think that's a typical pattern for some people.

I think the real trick is -- can you get back on the horse after your freak out?

According to this chapter from "You are not so smart" https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=26063.0 , a lot of people do freeze...
On United 232, they followed the checklist, but the situation on their hands was not one the checklist was able to help. If you've never read Captain Al Haynes' talk, it is well worth it:

Anyone who has seen this video seems to have this one question in their mind, and that is: how did anyone survive an accident of that magnitude? I think there are five factors that contribute to the degree of success that we had at Sioux City: that is, luck, communications, preparation, execution, and cooperation. And I would like to talk about those five things today.

http://www.clear-prop.org/aviation/haynes.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZYHMMMeHic would appear to be a recording of that same lecture, with all the slides and everything.
If you like a good ATC video, I love how calmly the pilot and controller react to this birdstrike: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KhZwsYtNDE
Was really hoping this would be about the cause investigation, which is a super interesting story