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by zug_zug·9y ago·view on hn ↗
So I'm 31, and I've had what you describe on-and-off for a long time. However, I don't have it for things I actually enjoy doing (e.g. solving some puzzle, playing a video game, helping a person, articulating how political systems would need to change to drive progress)

For myself, I always blamed the system. The fact is, I don't think it's fair to take a primate, put it in front of a screen all day, and expect it to want to type constantly and drag jira tickets. At least not this primate.

A lot of the time my job has felt like defusing my manager's daddy issues rather than improving the world. And I think surrendering to the idea that that was inevitable was crushing to me. So I quit.

Once I realized the world wouldn't collapse if I broke out of the system (e.g. you could quit, you could move to malaysia and coast, etc etc) I realized this was prison was entirely in my head. I realized most rich people I knew weren't really happy, and most jobs are dysfunctional wealth-making machines for those at the top.

Right now, I'm researching whether there is a possible connection between environmental chemicals and the skyrocketing illnesses (ADD, allergies, asthma, etc) for a youtube channel. Will I go back to work? Not sure.

But I've decided, if push comes to shove, I'd rather be poor than surrender to feeling like a pawn in a system I do not respect.