Deals are bilateral, but club membership isn't. You wouldn't seriously expect to be in a strong negotiating position with Amazon if you decided you wanted to leave Amazon Prime but retain some of the benefits without having to pay the membership fee, for example.
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Your bad analogy is directly contradicted by Britain's past success in negotiating special conditions within the EU membership.
UK's position upon entering the EEC was actually so strong that its application prompted 3 other countries to apply for membership.
It sounds like Britain's best days are behind it, but it hasn't come to terms with it yet. "Past performance is no guarantee of future results" ought to be plastered in parliament and at Number 10.
Sure... 20 years ago I could jack off 20 times per day... But I'm no longer a teenager and things change.
UK isn't at the helm of the British Empire as well.