> I do think that the reaction that they are impossible to drink from is more than a little silly, though. Maybe if you leave the straw in the drink for many hours it will collapse on you? I haven’t tried that.

I've had some paper straws that were okay. But I've had many that were soggy within 15 or 20 minutes? Particularly straws in milkshakes. But I suspect doesn't help that I'm in Florida – the high humidity means paper straws probably have a higher moisture content than other places, just by virtue of being in this environment. So it takes less absorption from the drink to make them loose structural integrity and start to collapse.