You misunderstood what I meant. I didn't mean we should only update if a single change is significant. I meant we only update when the cumulative changes since last update is significant. An example:
Let's say we create a 1mb file. The next time the file is changed, we only update the parent if the change is more than 10% (the new size is greater than 1.1mb or less than 0.9mb). For example if it is a log file and each line is 100 bytes, we update the parent after 1000 new lines (even though the 1000th line is still only 100 bytes). (of course the number of lines before the update depends on the size of the file, so if we had a 1GB log file, we would update after 1000000 new lines).
It is trivial to prove that the estimate is never off by a factor of more than 10% (even for the parent folders). So this is not a "half-assed broken-by-design feature" since it provides strong guarantees in bounds and at least in my personal day-to-day usage, I almost never care about the exact size of a folder but want to have a rough idea of how large it is.