▲ 15 points

Ask HN: What rules do you set for your kids screentime?

by softwaredoug·7y ago·9 comments·view on hn ↗

Hi HN Parents

There's something of a taboo these days about kids getting too much screentime. A taboo I don't remember existing as strongly when I was a kid (80s/90s). Given this taboo, my wife and I instituted time-based restriction on device usage. The end result: access to an iPad or iPhone is the source of a lot of consternation and conflict in our family. It's the primary punishment and reward. Of course, meanwhile, we parents use our laptops all day for work, look at our phones, text, read the news, a gazillion other things our parents would have done through analog methods.

What I observe is these days so much that would have been done without a screen needs to be done with a screen (phone calls, looking something up in an encyclopedia, research, a lot of book reading, reading the news). Also screens allow us to do a lot of things our generation couldn't do that are really positive for kids (text friends in another country, facetime with grandparents, etc). Not to mention limits on their abilities to hack on code. All of which seem to be conflated with watching the 20th meaningless minecraft youtube video.

I'd be curious what the HN community feels about kids + screentime?

- Do you limit screentime writ large with an overall limit?

- Do you set limits on the kind of screentime they get?

- What protocol do you follow (X hrs per day, have to ask first, but are limitted?)

- What do you do if they truly want to do something educational/positive with screentime but have hit their limits?

9 comments

I've got 3+ year old who gets ~20 mins of screen time each evening. We push for her to read books, go play, go on a walk, color, etc. but it's nice for her to get a little break right before bed to chill out and see her favorite characters.

Our limit is not hard, there are days where we're wiped out or she's sick or something's happened and we're struggling so give her more(the most ever was 3 or 4 90 min movies on snow day when everyone was sick).

She occasionally will get a handful of youtube videos(which are limited to what she already likes) but she generally wants to re-watch movies she loves.

We'll occasionally throw on a nature documentary instead of a standard movie, she loves seeing the animals and it's a good break in the routine.

If you set a rule(like screentime) and you've hit your limit, then you've hit your limit. Screen time is a metric like calories in my mind. You do your best to stay at a healthy weight and teach your kids what a healthy and unhealthy way to consume are...then hope for the best.

< 0 yr old - no screentime

5 yrs old - ~ 3hours screentime (TV only, we see what he's watching). If he want, he can reduce that time before dinner so after the dinner he can play on PS4 for the rest of the remaining time (Lego Worlds or Gran Turismo Sport).

No TV during meals. No cartoons after 20:00.

If something is truly educational (e.g. he learnt numbers and letters thanks to youtube channel) he can watch a bit longer.

AMA ;)

No set time limits, they eventually get tired of the stuff that is garbage and move on to more interesting content.

Under the age of 7 we let our children watch educational videos, pixar movies, and play the Wii and Wii U in the main living room (large projection screen) from sun up until sun down.

Ipads are crack for very young children and I think it's best that kids learn how to read and write before getting their hands on one. After a certain age (~10?) they kind of lose interest in ipads since they are rather limited (we don't install apps on our tablets or phones).

I think Minecraft is actually a very good technology for engaging their creative interests and drives children toward educational content on YouTube. Obviously they watch a lot of junk along with the educational stuff, but the junk is also more social oriented so has its own merits.

I feel a large part of HN are single people with no kids so you are not going to find anything good or insightful when it comes to parenting.

There are two main schools of thought on the issue you mentioned - 1 let them learn early / no major electronics filter (I grew up watching tv I am fine crowd)

- 2 let’s not let them have stuff they don’t understand.( I personally fall in this crowd)

I think both options have their pros and cons. Given “right” and “wrong” as a measure is always relative, you need to consider the if your actions ultimately help them or hurt them in the long term goals which generally for parents is to raise kids that are responsible and self sufficient and take care of themselves in a unknown future. Once you (and your spouse) have a agreed “North Star” it’s easier to set the rules, enforce them and lead by example.

Edited to add below answer

-Do you limit screentime writ large with an overall limit? No “limit”. The rule is as little as possible.

- Do you set limits on the kind of screentime they get? Yes- when we do show it’s either selected cartoons or nature or nova documentaries. The latter two is not a deliberate thing but mostly because I like to watch them they like to see it too. No Disney. Hate it with a passion. Their message is overwhelmingly emotional and romantic. In general I stay away from “movies” type things where there is a larger plot

- What protocol do you follow (X hrs per day, have to ask first, but are typically no more than) have to ask is the baseline. Also they don’t know how to operate the tv(yet). Typically if it’s been more than one hour of their cartoons in a day they are done. I might allow them to watch documentary or half if I am watching it.

- What do you do if they truly want to do something educational/positive with screentime but have hit their limits? Not have encountered this scenario but if I did I would not give them their screen time and have them understand that this time they used up their “credits” but next time they can plan for it. Just like how the real world works.

When I was in my elementary school days I was limited to 2 hours a day screen-time. Tbh, it did not do much since my parents could not watch me 24-7 and did not have the time to regulate the 2 hours. Furthermore, in middle school once my parents stopped caring I just binged for like 3 hours on video games and tv.

i don't allow any unsupervised screen time at all.

we play games on the computer (currently minetest) together, or side by side (kid plays while i do something else)

kids are not allowed to activate electronic devices on their own. (son got his game-play session revoked for today because he didn't listen. we played a table-top game that my son suggested instead.)

i am not watching the hours. we are not playing that much that it would come up to the health limits for screen time, so that is a non-issue. the question is more about whether the activity is meaningful.

it would be helpful if you included the age range of your children

the oldest is 7 going on 8.

my plan is to not give them independent screen time until they have learned how to use it properly and are old enough to deal with unexpected things they might come across, also not sharing personal data, etc.

it also works as an excuse to spend more time with the children.

my wife and her family have a different attitude about this, so the kids do get some independent screen time to watch tv that is beyond my control. but they are not getting access to computers in our home without supervision.

the advantage is that i don't need to bother with parental controls that the kids might figure out how to circumvent (intentionally or not) and i get to teach them responsible behavior.

ask me in a few years how well that's working :-)

I use https://families.google.com/familylink/ to control my son’s tablet. What he plays, how long and at what time.