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online arguments are for spectators now because we don't have effective moderation and because our formats don't promote this kind of exchange

philip tetlock claims that constructive arguments happen in relatively small high-trust communities where people are incentivized to get the truth, accountable for being wrong, and don't know the alignment of their audience.

Thanks for the mention of Philip Tetlock, I found and just read this recent interview with Tyler Cowen and it's very interesting: https://conversationswithtyler.com/episodes/philip-e-tetlock... (audio & transcription)
Yeah that's the truth.

More and more often as a sort of puritanism takes over replies have near 0 to do with me.

I'll put forth an idea X, and someone will maybe think (sometimes reasonably, sometimes less so...) it also supports another idea Y.

I'll be all "oh man no not Y".

And I'll get a diatribe about how I support Y ... despite explicitly saying that we both agree that Y is bad...

It sometimes feels like in most places nobody believes anyone is honest and just is looking to riff off some tangential thing and yell at people.