If lockdowns that aren't "real" (by the way, saying "real lockdowns" brings the no true Scotsman fallacy to mind) don't work to stop the virus, then why are >95% of the countries in the world doing them, since they still have all the negative side effects but without the benefit?
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Because politicians are idiots. They think doing some lockdown-light with 50% of the boxes ticked from scientists recommendations will get 50% of the promised effect. And if they pick the right 50% of boxes, it'll also not inconvenience anyone important...
95% of the countries in the world have not done a lockdown. Stay at home orders are not lockdowns. In the USA we have never had an actual lockdown.
Even with your definition, my question stands: if stay-at-home orders aren't lockdowns and so don't stop the virus, why are >95% of the countries in the world doing them, since they still have all the negative side effects but without the benefit?