>Ideal situation is 2 to 3 days of work a week, with very few zoom meetings, scrums, or other bullshit.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could trade pay or hours for avoiding arseache like you can negotiate a salary? Like, "I'll take a 5% salary cut but I'll not be required to attend certain meetings" or "I'll work an extra x hours a week for free but I'll never have touch an Atlassian product ever again".