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>Was my rejection of the durian, Southeast Asia’s King of Fruits, a betrayal of my cultural identity, of my life in Singapore?

No. There are Japanese people who don't like sushi. There are Koreans who don't like kimchi. (I only mention these things because they are foods I've had before that I really like.) And we can catalog people from all over the world who don't like certain things they are assumed to like because of their cultural identity.

It's bizarre that we have these strong ideals of not stereotyping people and yet these reverse stereotypes are so common. You're not rejecting culture because you have preferences.

But hey if it was just her not liking Durian for some other reason and learning to like it, that's great.

9 of 10 Swedes despise surströmming.
I had a coworker bring a durian shake or something like that to work. This was probably a month or so after he started. I don't think anybody ever really forgave him.
Did it actually smell? I would have thought by the time it was mixed into a shake that there wouldn't really be much smell?
That would be a worthy contender to reheating fish in the cafeteria microwave.
I find that durian ice cream typically doesn't smell, I've tried it in popsicle form and also from Dairy Queen. Sounds like whatever shake he brought in, it was a lot fresher.
Hmm I don't know why Singaporeans are so obsessed and repelled by Durian.

It's just a fruit. King of the fruits, as the poets say, but there are a lot of other fruits in the same tier as well.

But as others said, it's probably partly genetical and habituation. Here in Jakarta durian is almost universal in the proper season, and the smell does not turn off people, on the contrary it signals a savory fruit.

Though I myself don't like durian that much. I'll eat it, but not to the point of obsession. I got rambutan for that haha.

Getting hit by a flying durian and die is a not that uncommon way of death though. At least in the pop culture.

I wonder what makes people who like them become proselytizers of the Durian religion. That is, why does it seem that you are either obsessed with (addicted to?) Durian or are completely repulsed by it. Somehow I am in the middle which doesn't seem common. I don't think Durians stink but they also don't excite me that much.
I suspect it's genetic, like whether you find cilantro a tasty garnish or like grating Ivory soap onto your tacos.
Survivor bias. It’s such a bad experience that nobody would eat it unless they REALLY liked it.
I suspect we are just wired differently. Much like some people can't stand cilantro (tastes like soap to them).

I absolutely love durian and I rue the fact that it is hard to find (and expensive) in Central Europe. I find the odor strong, but not repulsive.

My wife, OTOH, hates it with passion. She cannot eat it even outdoors, where the wind blows the smell away.

Two words: Durian Pizza. First time I smelled that in China I thought somebody had emptied a garbage bin on the floor.
If you've never had the opportunity to try a durian: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/08/travel/a-love-letter-to-a-...
To a young person, the smell of durian, if you have never encountered it, most closely resembles the wet stuff at the bottom of a garbage can. The older people get, the better they like it; apparently it stops smelling like that. I have no idea how this is possible.
Do they really speak Mandarin in Singapore, I wonder? I thought they would be on some southern dialect.

Or does she use the word in place of just "Chinese"?

They DO speak Mandarin there (and English) because Chinese-Singporeans tend to dominate and outnumber the other groups politically and demographically.

Mandarian is a unique dialect of Chinese. Singaporeans also speak other dialects of Chinese in Singapore but Mandarin is one of the official languages of Singapore so it's what is taught in schools.

You can find elements of Hokkien, Hakka and Cantonese dialects mixed into typical Singaporean Mandarin. These have been frowned upon by academics and the government (Singlish has also been frowned upon and incorporates them also) but that hasn't changed the use of these.

https://theheartlander.org/2021/08/28/the-last-vestiges-of-c...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWaU7_k8I3o

Taiwan has similar dialects: there is Taiwan Mandarin as well as Taiwanese and Taiwan English.

Fun Fact: Singapore and mainland China use simplified Chinese characters. Taiwan and Hong Kong use traditional Chinese characters.

The word "heaty" is used for "hot" foods. There's a concept in traditional Chinese medicine for categorizing foods as hot or cold. Not temperature but having to do with inflammation.

Suffice it to say it seems to be a false friend of the Cantonese pronunciation of the word 熱 which is pronounced "yeet" (rè in Mandarin)

CIA World Facebook says:

English (official) 48.3%, Mandarin (official) 29.9%, other Chinese dialects (includes Hokkien, Cantonese, Teochew, Hakka) 8.7%, Malay (official) 9.2%, Tamil (official) 2.5%, other 1.4%; note - data represent language most frequently spoken at home (2020 est.)

sure is a lot of words