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Most of it is garbage!! People talking about conversation, especially online, is total crap. It's all small blogs, and the ones who aren't trying to sell you something are this weird combination of unsure and self-inflated.

I agree with ajkjk, people have gotten safe and boring.

The only advice I have is to try more, and push the envelope over time. Social restrictions feel intense but yield to sustained (unintentional) effort. Most people are some combination of cowardly and egotistical as a default position. Be like flowing water. Negative consequences don't last if you don't feed them, and positive ones build and compound.

This is my Everyone Likes Dogs philosophy. If you meet someone and they tell you they like dogs, they have provided you essentially no new information. The status quo is that everyone, everywhere likes dogs. On the other hand, if someone tells you they hate dogs, now this is new information, that is suddenly quite interesting. How can you not like dogs? Did you have a bad experience? So on and so forth. A memorable tidbit about their personality which makes them less forgettable.

The trick is to find those social cracks where the contrarian viewpoint is interesting but does not make you a pariah. That is, even if you hate dogs, I would advise keeping that one to yourself.

The only real meta is to treat everybody as an individual. Pay attention to how they react during different stages of the conversation and tailor your own behavior to make them more comfortable. Some people respond well to being asked about themselves. Other people become nervous and evasive. Pay attention to how they respond and react accordingly.

Besides that, there is no "one size fits all" approach. The only approach that works for everybody is to treat everybody like an individual with a unique personality.