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> Or, if it was written by someone who's older or been a parent, narcissism prevented them from ever growing beyond themselves because they could never see beyond themselves.

I wrote this article because I'm a new parent trying to see beyond myself :)

What beliefs should I impart on my daughter? Why do I justify those beliefs?

I guess that's the goal of this essay, and this was the best I could do with the challenge. I agree that it's not my best work haha

> relationships, love, honor, sacrifice, or any values other than hedonism

I don't really consider myself a hedonist, but I guess that's where my axioms/premises led me.

But I'm extremely curious what basic premises others people accept as ground truth, and where it leads them.

1 comments

What your daughter learns/inherits/rebels against from you will derive from your actions, not your words. What choices you make, how you treat her, what your true motivations are, you emotional or lack of emotional response to situations. In essence, who you are. So really, working to be a good parent isn't different from working to be a good person.

Remember her early years are more formative than her later years. The foundation of her personality traits will be set in the first five years, and the subfloor in the next 5. Those will fixed for the rest of her life. She only remodel the things built on top, but she can't ever change those early layers. At best she can put lots of corrective/counteracting layers on top.

Focus on love, understanding, kindness, being present, listening, honesty, fairness -- and readily admit to her when you've made a mistake or are wrong. Don't demand that she apologize. Instead, apologize to her when you fuck up. Model the behavior.

I don't even know if you want advice from me or even if you'll see this. Feel free to email me if I am being helpful.

Beautifully written! Thank you so much.

We spend a lot of time together right now, playing and laughing throughout the day. It's good to know that our time together helps even at this age :)

In the meantime, I'll continue to work on my compassion and sincerity. Thank you again

The fact that you responded well to all the harsh feedback here bodes well for your daughter.

Also, assuming you aren't a single parent, don't forget to be good to and honest with your partner. Don't let your devotion to you daughter cause you to neglect your partner. This is important for all three of you.

I wish you all the best.