I have kids now and am working daily to break the patterns of intergenerational trauma, hoping to have with my kids what I couldn’t with my parents.
Edit: To expand I have more sympathy with my mother because I know of some of her traumas growing up. But I have a harder time to excuse my father.
Luckily I love my parents but otherwise I'd be soo mad.
Now, it's parents before anyone.
I understand and empathise how they came to be like that but I still cannot truly forgive them. I wish I can forgive and be at peace one day.
They are now very much in decline mentally and physically. The best times are over. Makes me glad that I had children young and we were all able to enjoy spending time together. A lot of happy memories.
I've since learned that some of my own dissonant thoughts are really just echoes of things that my parents would say. Recognizing that has helped me eliminate many of them. Step one was being my own person, which I could do while I still had those types of thoughts, but step 2 was realizing why the thoughts were there, and being able to move past them.
I still think the best thing I did to improve my relationship with them was move out.
I get along with them well, and hope to continue to do so as long as they live.
There were some early struggles and awkwardness around me being gay (nothing really bad and I am grateful that I never felt unsafe)
There was the awkward years after being an adult that our relationship had to shift and it took until my mid twenties before it really shifted to, you don't have any control over me anymore and we are equals. There were some fights around this.
For me this took moving about 600 miles away and being able to become my own person.
Now obviously there are plenty of things that they don't know about me. Often will hear about things I did after the fact instead of like with friends and just talking about future plans.
But I regularly text my mom (like she asked me about the D&D) movie and we generally talk on the phone once or twice a week.
Being completely honest the pandemic helped, we talked a lot more.
They get on fine with me, but the mother is doing herself no favours with her bossy nature. Not only that, but the mother is prone to not exactly telling the truth - perhaps also relevant in that she tried to get me into trouble with the police, only to earn herself charges of "false accusations" and "misleading the authorities".
She also tries to tell the kids that they shouldn't like me, and so far that has had the exact opposite effect as to what she wants to achieve. I suspect that sooner or later, once they realise just exactly what she was up to, that they will likely disown her altogether.
Of course, 40+ can also be summed up as "damn, wish i had done X or Y or ...". Life is shorter than you realize and empathy is a valuable trait. If mistakes were made and you get the chance to remedy them, consider doing so. If you become a parent, do better.
Please select the option that best describes your overall lives together.
Can I ask what your answer is and why your question treats parents as a single entity?
Can you tell us more about your interaction with both your parents?
Thanks
Also it's crazy how not only I am like my father were it comes to the relationship with our own children, (rules and so on), but also my mother is the same as my wife (lack of rules and so on).
Dad nah. He was an alcoholic (probably self medicating ADHD in hindsight with my diagnosis) who would always criticise everything when drunk. You're fat, you're not doing anything useful in life. You're doing this wrong, that is wrong, the other is wrong. Stopped talking to him for my own mental health and later he died after catching a common cold when his liver shut down.
Boomers really need to get help with mental health issues, the stigma isn't really there anymore. Sort yourself out before you die prematurely and miss meeting your grandkids lol