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Thank you for sharing Melanie's perspective, it's clear she holds deep respect for her parent. It can be more complex from that perspective, let's indeed leave it at that side then.

In public discussions it's generally best to use Danielle Berry, the name she chose. This respects her identity, provides accurate historical context, and importantly, offers a role model for those exploring their own gender identity.

It also fosters 'trans literacy' - understanding and respect for trans identities. As a fan of both Wendy Carlos and Danielle Berry since childhood, I've not only had the chance to enjoy their boundless creativity but I also learned so much in addition to that.

Shouldn't she / we all have our individual rights respected on these matters - the power over how to define one's own identity, both in life and how we are remembered after death?

As a fellow fan, I try to respect her autonomy and honour her legacy by using her chosen name: Danielle (Bunten) Berry.

2 comments

I try to stay as respectful to the identity people choose for themselves and less of what the identities people impose upon others.

While I generally will refer to this individual as the late Dani Bunten, I 1000% respect the identity that both Dani Bunten gave herself as well as her surviving children. Because what we think about D. Bunten is paltry compared to the importance of a surviving child.

And Melanie's perspective is absolutely in line with Dani Bunten's chosen identity. For every conversation about this subject concerning Dani Bunten, someone absolutely needs to provide this link to her archived website discussing this matter:

https://web.archive.org/web/20110912094412/http://www.anticl...

To Dani Bunten, Dan Bunten (him) created M.U.L.E.. It's not wrong or disrespectful to follow one's chosen identity. But again, in most contexts (not speaking with Melanie), I refer to this individual as Dani Bunten because I also respect trans people (in general).

> Shouldn't she / we all have our individual rights respected on these matters - the power over how to define one's own identity, both in life and how we are remembered after death?

Incidentally: No, I think one's legacy is necessarily defined by others, and ignoring Kafka's last will, for example, was a good call.

But for the sake of the argument, even if we grant Bunten full control over Bunten's identity, I don't think we'll arrive at any coherent narrative or style guide. Just take the final quote from Bunten's wikipedia entry, where Bunten talks about Mr. Dan Bunten and Ms. Danielle Berry as if they were roles in a play. That's quite compatible with retaining the birth name for acts performed under that name, which includes making MULE and fathering children.

The 'roles' she mentioned don't negate her transition, but highlight the journey she underwent.

Kafka's case differs greatly, as it's about work publication, not personal identity - let's not conflate the two.

It’s actually 'Kafkaesque' to use Kafka’s example while overlooking his own struggles with identity and societal norms - issues that resonate deeply with many on a trans journey.

You are inadvertently highlighting the importance of understanding and respecting individual identities and experiences.