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I do wonder if I’d be diagnosed with ADHD if I didn’t already have a fairly obscure neurological disorder. My visual cortex can’t filter its own noise out properly which causes a bunch of mostly migraine-like neurological issues including apparently making my focus unreliable and forcing me to work in a very “burst-then-rest” kind of fashion, but I was already that way beforehand it just got much worse when I contracted the disorder.

Either way this comment makes me want to try a LISP! I might give Clojure a go, I daily drive another alt-JVM language at the moment so it’s a natural choice.

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This is super interesting. Thank you. Feels similar to subtle patterns in my next of kin and their inner workings. So I can read more, would you mind sharing the name of the disorder?

The disorder’s called visual snow syndrome, it’s named after the main symptom that differentiates it from other disorders which is TV-static like visual distortion but it sometimes causes a lot of other things typically associated with migraine to the point before it was studied in its own right it was assumed to be an uncommon variation of migraine; unlike migraine though for many people it doesn’t produce any pain at all, just other migraine aura like neurological symptoms. I’m not so fortunate, I get a permanent one-sided headache, brain fog, occasional derealisation episodes, photophobia (that one’s fun but fortunately I live in usually grey Britain), and that general kind of thing. It was a migraine specialist researching the condition in the UK who eventually diagnosed which was good as at the time there was a fair bit of rubbish on the internet about the condition (though that’s a lot better than it used to be, I was sixteen when I got it and all the doctors could tell me at the time was ‘we have no idea what this is but it’s not going to kill you’).

As for treatments there basically isn’t one. Among other things I experimentally microdosed quetiapine against it (under the theory dopamine might be involved) under the supervision of a doctor which basically cured the visual distortion but not the pain, but I quickly built a tolerance and binned it off because the side effects aren’t great. Some people benefit from anti-seizure medications but not everyone and the side effects can also be bleak. Fortunately medical cannabis is legal in the UK and it’s very effective against the pain, the amount of unsuccessful things I’ve tried qualifies me for it and the pain’s only a problem on very bad days now. Coding with the monofur font helps me too!

Of course everyone has some noise in their visual system, a little bit of TV static isn’t necessarily indicative of disease. For reference I struggle to read when it’s bad, and my night vision is impaired quite a bit compared to what it was before so you’d definitely notice if it was problematic.

Just a intuitive thought, a bit unresponsible maybe, so consider on your own risk: you researched the effects of ketamine and its derivatives on your disorder? Din't know why I think of this; probably because they are know to also affect obscure pain stuff like phantom pains and generally interact with perception (I feel it reduces oversensitivities like not beeing able to bare some stimulus and such) currently researched as an fast acting and lasting over its acute effects treatments for depression.

If I'm ever eligible for a study into it I'd definitely at least consider the idea, though it's not something I'd want to do outside of medical supervision given the mechanism of my condition is not well characterised yet.

One anecdotal thing from support groups etc that makes me cautious is that while some people are born with it and some people contract it spontaneously later in life (this was my case), other people can contract it after taking various types of drug. Typically these are serotonergic drugs like antidepressants, psychedelics, and that sort of thing which aren't in the same category so it'd probably be okay but it's definitely possible I can make things worse as well as better.

Ah. Funny. I probably have this. That was unexpected. Thank you.