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by padolsey·1y ago·view on hn ↗
Gosh! Such inspired venom and "old man yells at cloud" vibes in this comment thread. I think I should send this to myself from 5 years ago:

It's gonna be OKAY. It's OKAY to subtly adjust your language towards better ends, if it makes people feel more comfortable and creates a more equitable environment around you. The world won't implode. Although truly strained to the core of my being I have found the willpower to stop using "chinese whispers", preferring "game of telephone", stopped using "guys", preferring "y'all" and started to prefer generic "they/them" until I know the person's pronouns.

Amongst all the slings and arrows of life suffered, let this tiny ask be not one of them.

3 comments
While we're at it, I laugh at the use of y'all, when I went my entire childhood trying to hide the southern accent and southern phrases (that includes y'all, btw) I inherited from my parents, because people associated it with slow and dim-witted.

This is still, by the way, how it's seen by many "educated" and "well meaning" people who would talk about appropriation if it came in other context.

So, I guess my question is, when will you stop using y'all, as it makes me feel uncomfortable?

> if it makes people feel more comfortable

Who is being made to feel more comfortable? I think what's missing here is any evidence of harm or even minor discomfort.

It's not OK to demand I take on the cognitive load of changing my speech for no particular reason, or to shame me for not taking it on.

I agree. What's so hard about acting a bit more considerate instead of telling others to stop getting hurt? Nobody is out to criticize anyone's intentions or accuse them of being colonialists. Sometimes it costs to be considerate but not this instance.
You're going to have to wait a generation for people to start falling for that again.
Falling for it? Can you help me see the scam underlying their comment?
It’s a motte and bailey thing, where “it costs nothing to be nice” is the motte and “you’re a nazi” is the bailey. The people in the motte aren’t necessarily the same as those in the bailey, but this is roughly what has been happening for the last 15 years. It’s like jaywalking. You keep pushing new offenses down the treadmill, so you can selectively persecute anyone, because nobody is gonna keep up with all of them.

It’s nice to be educated about common misconceptions and potentially hurtful language, but unfortunately society doesn’t have enough slack right now to be a sufficiently chill about it and not devolve into tribal bullshit over it. At least that’s the concern.

What? When did I call anyone a nazi? Whatever you perceive happened for the last 15 years has nothing to do with my comment. I said what you yourself said: lets recognize what is potentially hurtful