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The first startup I worked for had the usual free coffee, but the only food they offered was the entire salad drawer of the refrigerator filled with every candy bar imaginable. Refilled twice a day.
Within a month of us moving into that building we'd all put on about 20lbs. Every coffee break was also candy bar time. We demanded they remove them all, for our own safety.
That's what I wish the tech companies had, a way to limit the free snacks. I'd much prefer to have to tap my badge and have the machine tell me that I exceeded 300 kcal in snacks today so no more.
I'm usually very good about just not eating the random snacks and candy in the office kitchen, but every now and then they bring madeleines into the rotation and I can't resist those :) it's always a mild relief when they're in the off-again phase.
They should have filled entire salad drawer with... good salad. Put up a bouldering wall or give their employees free/cheap entrance to nearby gym and give them time to actually do it. Ie I almost never go on lunch breaks if I can go to gym instead, once it becomes a habit its trivial to keep it up. Massive efficiency boost in my own private time, at 6pm I am over and worked out already.
IT more than anything else (maybe apart from true art) is not about hours put in but efficiency of time spent. Breaks often help overcome blocks. Decent workouts and healthy lifestyle helps with better focusing mind since all is connected in each of us. Also helps with sleep which then goes back to mind and all.
Im sure the free market will help develop a solution for mammals overeating because there is no impulse control for that - ah, and here it is: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trocar
which one was your favorite though?
Fruits are kind of amazing. A tasty apple cut up into slices is more delicious than more or less any concoction Mars & co. can come up with.
Even more "gnarly" stuff like figs, eating them just generates such a positive reaction. And something like mango if you're lucky enough to live in places with it... If you don't have to deal with cutting it up, that's something amazing.
Getting fruit from some farm way far off in the distance to me is a feat of logistics. I always feel a bit stupid about how I reach for convenient stuff because I don't want to take a 5 minute break to do a bit of prep and cleanup.
In principle, I agree. However, I haven't had a tasty apple in ages - they're all way too sweet for my taste.
I've been thinking about how modern fruit optimize for (among numerous other things) sweetness, and whether modern fruit are actually healthy in terms of glycemic index / glycemic load / etc.
A great way to boost the logistics score of fruits like mango is to buy dried. To remain true to the scientific method I didn't include dried mango because it's not provided at the office. I do frequently bring it in.
you should try a mangosteen or cherimoya. discovering the broader fruitiverse was pretty eye opening.
I found it to be a US thing to cut fruit in slices (at least this is the country I see most doing this).
In France you get your apple whole and you bite into it. If someone prepare fruit for say a picnic, it will either be a fruit salad or a while fruit.
Children from kindergarten eat while fruit, or cut in two of they really cannot bite in. Adults never eat pre-cut fruit.
> If you don't have to deal with cutting [mango] up
What's the problem? I just peel it one half at a time and cut off huge chunks or strips around the pit. Flip it and keep going.
The flip is messy but also satisfying.
>A tasty apple cut up into slices is more delicious than more or less any concoction Mars & co. can come up with.
I love apples, but this is silly.
You obviously didn't make it down to "lemon"
Well... I try to avoid junky candy bars. And actually can even be disgusting when you're not into that habit. But lots of fruits aren't great either. If I'm hungry and have to choose between an acid apple and a kit kat, I think I'd pick the latter.
He straight-up ate someone else's salad?
"But the distribution is bimodal here because the massive upside is countered by a massive downside: You need to evade detection. Will you hide in the bathroom? Pretend you ordered the same thing? Eat it at your desk? Either way, you need to be prepared."
Pro health tip: Don't eat where you perform waste removal functions.
One of the best pieces of lore at my employer came courtesy of our "free food" slack channel. It was customary, after catered meetings, to post the location of any leftovers so the vultures could come by and enjoy a free second lunch.
Until.
Until the "cool intern" noticed food outside a conference room shortly after noon and posted it on the free food channel. Hordes of people came by to avail themselves of the food, leaving a horrified meeting organizer to fight them off while trying to post a rebuttal on slack saying that the food was NOT, in fact, available for the taking, the attendees hadn't had a lunch break yet, pleading with people to stop taking their food, etc.
Grazing on leftover Forkable lunches is one of the great pleasures of going into the office now. I eat my regular lunch at noon. At three or four, I do a lap to see if there are any unclaimed leftovers from folks who didn't make it in. I might eat one right there, or hide it in the fridge to take home later. It's like a VC-funded loot box - will I get a sandwich? Some curry? Dim sum? The possibilities are endless.
> Everybody likes grapes.
False.
I've heard that some med students use grapes to practice stitches, and that is how I feel about grapes.
Grapes are obviously not meant to be eaten by humans, and must serve some other, probably squeamishness-inducing, purpose.
At one stage pre-pandemic, someone with tongue firmly in cheek, produced a wiki page with details of all the meals you could make with the office kitchen snacks and equipment. I think that eventually got removed, because the snacks changed and it was no longer accurate. No one has had that dedication since.
> “Who does that guy think he is, eating bananas and all that?” said no one ever. The social score of the banana is fully neutral. Nobody has ever thought anything of anyone for eating bananas.
As someone who cannot stand the smell or taste of bananas, I'll certainly judge you for trying to eat one near me.
A bit of tangeant but I see that the beef jerky reads "No nitrates added*" with:
"Except for that which naturally occurs in sea salt and celery powder"
Now you may ask, why celery powder ?
It turns out that in order to avoid adding "synthetic" (?) nitrates and to add "natural" ones, manufacturers add/boil products in celery extracts which contains a lot of nitrates.
Ironically, the "natural" route can result in equal or even higher nitrate levels compared to traditionally cured products. From a chemical standpoint, your body doesn’t distinguish between synthetic and natural nitrates. Both can convert into nitrosamines under certain conditions (like high heat), which are compounds of potential health concern.
I once bit into a lemon like that. It ate away some enamel on my teeth and they were sensitive for a few weeks. 0/5
This was actually a great post and made me aware of your product for the first time.
I eventually landed here: https://getlago.com/docs/guide/self-hosted/
It would be nice if there was a feature matrix for self hosted premium vs open features, since that's the first thing self-hosted people are going to be looking for.
Also, I'm looking at your Lever page, but no SWE roles are listed. Maybe if this post really does numbers, that'll be changing soon!
Needing to get up and go to the trash can should be +1 not -1. Anything that increases your trips to anywhere from your stationary office chair needs to get points to win
Grapes: "No half-eaten evidence of prior gluttony remains. No trash is created. The perfect snack." Did they eat the stems too?
If you want something even more detailed than Cabel Sasser’s annual sanck and cereal showcase is something else
Misses the best office snacks: (1) a handful of nuts, (2) a boiled egg.
Best / funniest lead-gen blog post I've read in ages. Bravo!
An entertaining read, even if I disagree with a lot of the ratings. Bananas get 1/5 for logistics?! They are the perfect portable snack. Grapes are definitely not guilt free - most table grapes are way too sweet for my taste. I can eat a handful and then I am done.
Also, there is a special place in hell for people who steal other people's lunches. That's one thing I could never understand. What's the thought process?!
Nice. I’m similarly spoiled for choice now. Past workplace:
1. Swiss Miss Hot chocolate mix
2. Starlight Peppermint Mints
3. Lemonade
4. Peanut butter
For variety, I tried many combinations. Some: 1+3: bad, 1+2, 2+3: good, 1+4: awesome
For some reason, my first thought when I saw this was to think back to this other recent post: https://www.scottsmitelli.com/articles/ideal-candidate/
I feel like these are linked in some hard to describe way.
The Cliff's Builders Bar (chocolate mint edition) is actually pretty good. This person has no taste.
I've had no problem completing the "ate every snack in our kitchen" part. Reviewing them, though, is a level of dedication I don't have.
Is Series A is the "office snacks" round?
I assume you hire a catering service to stock the snacks and fridges, and that they work out deals with some vendor?
hahahahaha great article and definitely a lead generator
totally shocked how grapes managed to get a 5/5 on logistics though, theyre a nightmare
Free beef jerky sure is a nice office snack. Stuff tends to be more pricey that most carb based snacks
Really needs a scatter plot or something. A ranking.
Was expecting something like an ELO rating.
This may not be the best for lead gen, but it's great for recruiting!
This person has zero taste. The mint builder's bar is awesome.
Funny article. Interesting product too.
Disappointed that microwaved yesterdays fish is not reviewed.
Social score: "No don't so it just go ahead and steal my lunch please!"
That was a great use of my time - thanks for the entertainment
beef jerky:
"There’s a plastic bag to discard and one of those weird silica gel packets you can’t eat. I rate this 4 out of 5 because it creates plastic trash, but par for the course."
olives:
"Their wetness makes you unable to use your keyboard without washing your hands. Plus they produce pits, which need to be stored in an additional bowl. I love olives, but their logistics score would be zero."
the two are in my eyes almost equivalent, you need to wash your hands after eating jerky, and it has (worse) waste, yet one scores much higher than the other.
The last one absolutely sent me. Good job!
That was a great read.
This is what corporate blogs should be, not SEO slop.
> If you want to make sure everyone believes you’re a sociopath, go ahead and have a straight up lemon. If not, don’t.
Decided. I'm going into my next appraisal meeting and staring my manager down while eating a lemon like an apple.