Given that there are generally a common set of requirements for package management one possible solution could be virtual repositories. I almost exclusively use Ubuntu/Debian: you could have a repo that LOOKED like a standard apt endpoint but translated all the apt requests into the appropriate npm/pip/gem/<language of your choice's package management system> without having to manually bake the .deb files. Updates to the backing repo would be seamlessly supported, so an 'apt-get -y upgrade' would update everything. Integration with virtualenv-style local packages would involve some magic, but having only one set of "package management primitives" would be pretty awesome.
Debian seems uninterested in working with standards it doesn't like (see their "support" for installing LSB RPMs), and other distributions won't want to introduce the complexity of APT, so I unfortunately see little way forward for this.
I know a whole slew of people who refuse to try out node.js because npm exists and they can't (well maybe 'really shouldnt') install those packages with apt-get.
I've yet to see a reliable up-to-date OS vendor distribution of node.js itself, much less all the packages.
Sadly, Nix user experience is abysmal.