Many HVAC people will recommend thicker filters (3-6" thick) if using a higher MERV, but the 1" 3M 1900 often has more actual surface area if laid flat.
Testing by Project Farm and others showed the 3M 1900 filter has the lowest airflow resistance of any 1" high-MERV filter. If your HVAC only accepts a 1" filter, that's the only brand I'd use. Change the filter ideally every 3 months, but to avoid costly HVAC repairs don't exceed 6 months maximum.
It's important to follow the manufacturers recommendations for the total pressure drop including the filter (this can be measured with a $10 radon manometer), but if the manufacture says something silly like "avoid high MERV filters" then you can safely ignore that claim provided you abide by the maximum pressure drop specced.
This is just an issue with residential HVAC, but of course the residential side has always been messed up...