I think that I understand you. I started programming in the mid-1960s as a kid and now in my mid-70s I have been retired for two years (except for occasional small gigs for old friends). Nothing special about me but I have had the pleasure of working with or at least getting to know many of the famous people in neural networks and AI since the mid-1980s.
My current passion is pushing small LLMs as far as I can using tools and agentic frameworks. The latest Qwen 3.5 models have me over the moon. I still like to design and code myself but I also find it pleasurable to sometimes use Claude Code and Antigravity.