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This is a balance bike meant to attract the dads who are fans of the brand rather than a balance bike meant to be good for kids.

First the handlebar is too large for small hands and comes with no grips, second the top tube is too wide to be comfortable between the legs and the whole frame is just edges.

If you want a good balance bike look for brands like prevelo [0] or woom [1] who have been designing kid bikes for years.

[0] https://prevelo.com/products/alpha-zero

[1] https://woom.com/en_INT/balance-bikes/self-balancing-bike/wo...

>> attract the dads who are fans of the brand

I'm surprised they haven't yet released a cyber-grill.

Woom is the best - not only when it comes to balance bikes, but also real bikes. As they really are bikes. Other, even serious, brands make kids' bikes that are just too heavy. Also, Woom keeps it's re-selling value very well, much better than anything what Tesla makes.
Am I just out of the loop but is $200+ for a children's bike absolutely insane?
Strider Balance Bikes are also nice and broadly available and actualy built for kids unlike this whatever that Tesla thing is.

My child started on a Strider balance bike when slighly under two years old. It was a perfect intro to cycling and then we upgraded to the first pedal bike at three.

This year upgraded to his seventh bike so the sport has stuck!

Nailed it.
4T valuation is incoming.

there are currently 600M kids between 0-4 ages. Imagine each paying $100 for this bike, we are talking about $60B revenue. On top of that Tesla is planning to sell accessories and subscription to these bikes, which will grow their revenue by another $120B

We haven't even started talking about how experience with these bikes will shape these kids and eventually they will buy Tesla in the future when they grow up (we are talking about another $50T market cap addition over 30 years, around 125M new customers every year)

IANAL, P&L, this is not a financial advice: Invest now before its too late

/sarcasm

I called my wife's boyfriend and told him he needs to get on board NOW. There'll be a huge run on it once they announce the Boring Company Flamethrower Mount add-on.
Don't forget the potential for bike parking in space bays. So much more eco than earth bound parking.
It's $225 per bike so revenue of $135b. Moar valuation!
I've analyzed it and I think the total addressable market for these balance bikes exceeds $30 trillion dollars
I expect the TSLA stock to jump another 20% based on this
And this is a great way for Optimus to get around, so you can add another 1b sales right there.
Just buy your kid a good quality pedal bike [0], and take the pedals off.

That way they can learn to use the brakes, and when you put the pedals on, they will quickly learn to cycle it. Took my daughter an afternoon.

[0] e.g. https://us.earlyrider.com/products/belter-14-kids-bike-age-3...

I'm glad this worked for your family, but in my kids' experience this is too heavy to use as balance bike. By the time they were comfortable hoisting their de-pedaled 12" / 5.4kg bike off the ground, they'd nearly outgrown it. They preferred a cheap hand-me-down balance bike which was half the weight (the upscale ones with brakes and pneumatic tires are self-defeatingly heavier).
Depends when they start, but a bike like that would have been too heavy and too big for a ~1.8 year old.

We started with a Strider which is only 6.5lbs for the whole bike, much more manageable for a under-two year old.

Worked for me, thanks for the fond memory
Thanks for the tip!
Warning: the bike may start to unexpectedly veer to the Far Right
Comes in 4 different themes for your little one:

- Starship

- Dinosaur

- Princess

- Schutzstaffel

roman salutes to show the way
Ugh. All you haters have no vision. Pretty sure you have missed the non-GAAP upside of this bike where the PRS of this cohort of ELSCs is booked and multiplied forward as ICFRS which means each bike sale is worth a future two cars, a cybertruck, a power wall, a personal levitation suit, and the revenue contributed from the children’s children’s indentured servitude in the mines of Mars.

[0] Potentialized Recurring Spend [1] Early life-stage customers [2] Infinitely Continuing Future Revenue Streams

Can’t wait to see these with “F Elon” stickers in San Francisco.
technically this is a hobby-horse, not a bike
A dandy-horse, or a velocipede.
Maybe I'm too stupid to understand, but how do you ride it? is it electrical? If so what's the maximum speed? or is it just those toy bikes where the kids need to push forward with their feet? if that's the case why on earth is it 225$?
I think it's "just" a regular balance bike that you push with your feet, although I wouldn't dismiss that kind of bike as a "toy". It's actually the best way to learn to use a bike for kids, much better than trainer wheels.
That’s not an uncommon price point for these kind of bikes aiming for that market segment (Woom).
Comes with the full Tesla experience of recalls and safety issues.

https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2023/Radio-Flyer-Recalls-Cyberq...

Every bike is a balance bike. That's how bikes work.
I believe it is called that because it is meant for learning to balance on a bicycle (as opposed to training wheels which, as commonly used, are mostly helpful in learning to pedal, but not balance). There are many other brands of "balance bike". The term is generic enough that it got its own Wikipedia page about 20 years ago.
Aren't so called "balance bikes" very dumb and also mildly harmful for kids? Why not just buy a proper bike with sidewheels, and after a few weeks just drop them and kid will learn to ride bicycles properly now? Instead of both not learning anything and endangering pedestrians and himself on the "balance bike"?
You can start a kid on a balance bike at like 9 months. There are no pedal bikes with training wheels that's small enough for a 9 month old.

No responsible parent will allow a child on a balance bike (or one with training wheels) in any scenario where they'll 'endanger' anything.

Balance bikes teach you to ride a bike (maintain balance while steering). Training wheels teach you to pedal a bike.

Learning balancing and steering first, and then learning to actually cycle the pedals is the right order of events I think.

> Why not just buy a proper bike with sidewheels

Training wheels are the worst for multiple reasons. The kid doesn't learn any balancing since the bike stays upright on the training wheels no matter what they do. And a pedal bike with training wheels is quite heavy (for a 1 year old) so it's more frustrating.

The best way to learn to cycle is to start on a balance bike when very young (under two) which gets the balancing part hardwired in the young brain. Then it is an easy step up to a pedal bike when they are a bit older and can handle the extra weight.

No. They are widely considered to be one of the best ways to learn balance and steering as well as developing coordination and core strength. The bike is not physically capable of reaching a high speed on flat ground due to the lack of a geared propulsion system. Generally they result in a faster transition to pedaling two wheels than by using training wheels on a “normal” bike.
Eh, my daughter had one when she was 2-3, before she would have been able to ride a pedal bike, and it was definitely helpful for her learning. She had training wheels on her next bike for a day or two and then we took them off and she rode without issue.

We also lived in an apartment and a tiny balance bike was a lot less disruptive than a pedal bike with training wheels.

5 year olds on balance bikes are endangering pedestrians?
No doubt it's just a spray painted OEM product from China.
Well, at least this one looks like custom made: https://shop.tesla.com/product/cybertruck-for-kids?sku=19856... . I dare to say, most products in that shop make sense. Well besides the entire "why would I want anything related to this toxic brand" issue.
I feel like most of us could knock this up out of ply with a handsaw and a drill, and 3D print some covers to go over it, in about an afternoon.

Or, you know, spend a tenner on a used one off Facebook Marketplace and a fiver on a tin of spray paint to make it all cool and custom.

....Why?!
Seriously though.

Musk promises self-driving cars, hyperloops, tunnels, and what they actually deliver is... a †balance bike*?!

Satire is dead, because I can't imagine a worse self-own.

Because they failed to get any other working new products to the market. Tesla semi? new roadster? Updates to their existing models? Tunnels? All announced years ago, nothing released.

Cybertruck is the only released new product that made some waves, and it failed, did not meet sales targets, definitely does not meet any requirements for a truck. Less than 100K sold, 20% of which to Musk's own companies (https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2026-05-05/how-many-c...).

They don't even have dealers that could throw this stuff in instead of real discount...
This is pretty cool, but seems like a massive waste of time for Tesla.
How about for grownups? Those old ICE motorcycles are still making city centers noisy and it would be nice to start phasing them out with electric.