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> The injured fisherman in today’s attack, a 19-year-old male, appeared to have sustained a bite to the ankle and transported himself
A disease that propagates itself by making animals want to bite other animals. I suppose rabies is the base phenomenon behind the zombie meme. It's also a good description of a large fraction of social media posts.
Not quite zombies, but there is a credible theory that rabies was the inspiration for vampires -- and maybe even werewolves -- since a lot of the symptoms are similar, e.g. transmission through biting (often from dogs and bats, which coincidentally are also animals that vampires can transform into), heightened aggression that includes biting, aversion to bright lights and strong smells like garlic:
It's amazing how microorganisms, including that Cordyceps fungus, can "control" macro nervous systems so specifically..
Zombies who eat brains are the mentally ill.
Bram Stoker’s vampire characters and stories are gay, as are their heirs (Anne Rice).
Sparkling Twilight vampires are Latter-Day Saints.
Zombies and vampires existed long before these novels and films got made, but pop culture has a way of wiping out and superseding local folk culture in the modern minds of new generations.
Actually the American shopping mall, specifically the Monroeville mall near Pittsburgh PA in the 1960 inspired zombie lore
The issue there is that the modern Zombie myth of an undead creature that spreads by biting only dates back to 1968.
It's also a good description of a large fraction of social media posts.
Case in point.
This must be payback for us harvesting their delicious anal glands all those years ago.
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/03/26/293406191/do...
I wonder how was it first discovered how beaver anal glands taste like.
Reading the article in the comment you just replied to, the delicious scent is apparent from simply sniffing near the beaver's rear end. I imagine it wasn't hard to find.
Is it merely coincidence that a beaver is slang for female genetalia?
Well ackshually...
> Beaver food flavoring doesn't actually come from the animal's anal gland but from another organ next to it, called the castor sac.
I still wouldn't try it, myself.
The nuance takes some of the humor out of the notion of eating beaver ass, though.
That weighty tail hides a delectable treat.
Thanks! The original link gave me a 403 only.
Confirmed rabies positive by the way.
Good thing he went to the doctor. Potential rabies is one of those "you gotta do it" deals.
"Beaver attacks on people are rare and are thought to primarily involve rabid animals" - the article
"Beaver Attack" was not on my 2026 Hacker News headline bingo card
Sounds like a Primus song but not quite.
Can your Beaver Do The Attack?
We better hope there aren't cuts to -rabies wild animal vaccines. These have cut down incidents like these in large degree, https://www.aphis.usda.gov/national-wildlife-programs/rabies... .
QUOTE:
The National Rabies Management Program was established in recognition of the changing scope of rabies. The goal of the program is to prevent the further spread of wildlife rabies and eventually eliminate terrestrial rabies in the United States through an integrated program that involves the use of oral rabies vaccination targeting wild animals.
Since 1995, Wildlife Services (WS) has been working cooperatively with local, State, and Federal governments, universities and other partners to address this public health problem by distributing oral rabies vaccination (ORV) baits in targeted areas. This cooperative program targets the raccoon variant, canine variant in coyotes and a unique variant of gray fox rabies.
My little brother was attacked once in France by a coypu. Needed medical attention. Beavers (we already have coypu) are being re-introduced into the UK, so maybe this sort of thing will increase here.
Never heard the word "coypu" before, turns out it's the same as "nutria".
A møøse once bit my sister.
It was because the beaver was rabid.
If a beaver does approach you, what's the best way to defend yourself?
Kicking it? It’s not a mountain lion.
Assuming you're not otherwise armed, I would say something long and tough to whack, bash, and push (or pin) with, such as a tree branch.
Shooting it with your pistol
toss a raw tree trunk to distract him, and run in the opposite direction.
Make like a tree and leaf?
Rabid Beavers? Don't worry everyone, I'm sure Buc-ee's has already filed suit because rabid beavers is covered under their trade dress.
wow, that was a pretty fast copyright takedown.
I know this is a serious thing, and beavers can seriously maul someone, but this post title/headline still made me laugh. Am I going to hell (well, for that)?
I turned my laptop around to show my wife the headline before I even started reading the article, as I immediately laughed as well.
Didn’t this happen to Jimmy Carter once?
The heat is driving me crazy too.
surely there is a roland emmerich movie in there somewhere
Already done, though not by Emmerich - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombeavers
That must have been one angry beaver, you know, like the TV show. (Sorry)