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> Recently, as I reached for the play button out of habit, I stopped. I thought: what if I just do this chore in silence today?

It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?

I just love silence.

I can't work in anything but complete silence. In open spaces I wear earplugs. (If I'm not wearing earplugs it means I'm not doing much of anything ;-) That's one of the main benefits of remote work: at my home there is complete silence most of the time.

I need silence for many other activities too. Cooking, reading (of course), even driving.

In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else.

>most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?

I can't generalize for everyone and maybe some of those people you observe are just listening to music all day long.

In my circle, we have earphones all the time because we're listening to podcasts of news, tech industry commentary, macroeconomics and finance, etc. If one is working in an area where you're professionally rewarded by being curious about the changing world and being "plugged in", having "headphones on all the time" can help with staying up-to-date. Even with all that headphone time, there are still many hours in the day in personal silence. Laying in bed consolidating various thoughts before falling asleep. Standing in the shower. Reading blogs, etc. Before podcasts, we'd have to "waste time" sitting in front of the computer to catch up on the same material. Podcasts help us multitask.

Of course, not everybody needs (or wants) to have headphones on all the time. The mathematician Andrew Wiles pursued Fermat's Last Theorem for 30 years before finally solving it. He doesn't need a random podcast that talks about the Iran war and its downstream economic effects on manufacturing computer chips. That type of "useless" news would probably bore him.

>, even driving. In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else.

It just depends on the threshold of mindless activity. If I'm driving in an unknown city with confusing one-way streets, I don't want a podcast voice yapping in my ear while I'm concentrating on reading the traffic signs. On the other hand, driving through 100 miles of monotonous corn fields on a highway means I can catch up on a backlog of podcasts.

For me, my life has gotten so stressful and awful, I just need to get away from my anxiety and the best way is through distraction. Music, podcasts, and audio books help me maintain some semblance of normalcy. I can't even fall asleep without some distraction. I'll stay up all night stressing about not being able to find work, my kid's futures, my piling up of bills, inflation, ever expanding war, etc.
> It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?

Depends on the location maybe too? I think in big cities I see more people with headphones on when they're out and about (which makes sense, cities tends to be noisy and not in the interesting way like nature is), compared to in the small town I live in now, where most people aren't wearing headphones, except if they exercise.

I guess it also depends on what you listen to. I've found certain types of electronic music to essentially put me in a "trance of focus and clarity" and as long as I keep it going, that can give me enough energy for hours to do all the chores of the day + end it all with a swim, all while listening to liquid drum & bass and forgetting about everything else in the world.

In open plan offices there is no silence. Working at home there's no silence.

Headphones offer the only escape. They're also a sign that you are trying to concentrate to discourage those "just a quick word" moments which could easily be covered by an instant message.

For you I'd recommend some ear protectors that one might use when operating power tools :-).

I actually think ear protectors with some bluetooth headphones built in might be the ideal solution :-)

I just love silence.

I am just like you, but my guess is most people are not in this category. I also like empty space - no matter how big my living space is (not that it is big), I hate to fill it with things I don't need. Perfectly happy with just keeping only those things I need and leave the rest of the space empty. In this too, I have noticed, I am in the minority.

Not saying one is better than the other. If people like sound/noise, it is their choice. That said, people who like silence are at a disadvantage, as silence is becoming rarer and rarer, whereas noise is everywhere. At minimum, it would be nice if people put their headphones on and not bother others...

I wear headphones about 80% of my waking day. Super comfy, wireless, noise-cancelling ones. The funny thing is, I rarely play anything through them, and am almost always just listening to silence.

I try and listen to other things, podcasts or music, sadly nothing compares to that golden silence.

> In open spaces I wear earplugs.

Noise canceling headphones do the trick for me, I just don’t play anything through them. I don’t like the feeling of something in my ears.

Two reflections from me:

- Starting my career during the beginning of and through the peak of the open floor plan office trained me to use headphones as a signal to others that I wanted to be left alone / needed to focus on my task. Now I catch myself doing it in other contexts subconsciously, like the gym, and have to stop myself sometimes to make sure I am doing it intentionally. I am at the age now where like you, I either prefer silence, or reminisce about the bygone days where people struck up conversations, past the usual pleasantries - just deep conversation with a total stranger that you may or may not ever see again, which wearing headphones takes away that possibility.

- silence is generally, in my opinion, for content people and/or people not struggling with a mental illness. I'd venture a guess that our field skews towards people who have negative internal voices. Having something playing as a distraction can take you away from those destructive thoughts. I had to do a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy and soul searching to be content with silence.

You sound way too judgemental and proud of being ok with silence (?). I mean, what?

> I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?

No, some people just like to do things listening to music or similar things.

It’s very difficult to intentionally find time to be bored. It’s sort of the opposite of an activity, and the brain hates it. One passable option is to take a 20 minute walk with no stimulus beyond the scenery. Journaling regularly. Meditation provides a similar experience but feels like a different lane.

For me I do find a similar experience to the OP. It’s easy to feel yourself going a little crazy getting sucked along the current of modern life. Flowing from one activity to the next, looking at one’s phone in the between, never any chance for an extended thought except when laying down for bed. If you don’t break out of this mode it’s easy to let weeks go by without noticing or taking much conscious impulse to shape your day.

> I’m a slow thinker, like really slow. It takes a few minutes just to get my thoughts moving in a direction. But once they pick up momentum, I can easily spend fifteen or thirty minutes exploring an idea, weighing different options

Here's to the slow thinking! Cheers!!

Yea this is a good one but it can be so hard. Seems obvious that constant information streaming outside of silencing your own thoughts also makes the moments where you do have to sit in silence lower quality.

I recently listened to the Hammock Driven Development talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f84n5oFoZBc) and it raises the very interesting point that it's not really the concious mind that makes big breakthroughs on hard problems, it's mainly the subconcious mind synthesizing information. It seems obvious to me that constantly intaking information will ruin this synthesization.

Sadly for some reason our brain loves filling the silence with junk...

At the start of this year I wrote down "Get rid of your Airpods" as a New Years Resolution. This was basically my proxy for "stop filling every spare moment with audiobooks and podcasts".

I still haven't done it, and my reflex for listening to something - even after my listening backlogs emptied a few months back - suggests I'm essentially addicted. Especially considering how much better I feel when I don't take my airpods out with me.

So, time to deal with that I guess. Thanks for the push.

I’ve been trying to start this “I don’t need any distraction for this task” challenge, but honestly it’s been REALLY tough for me. I’ve even noticed apprehension to start a particular chore like folding laundry if I don’t have something to distract me. Its like… because folding laundry takes so long, without a distraction it feels like I’m wasting my time, or just running out of time in the day?

Doing dishes, mowing the lawn, even just waiting for agents to finish, this need for distraction has really taken a hold of me, and it’s even getting in the way of me wanting to do things that I feel would motivate me again.

I can’t help but wonder if agentic development has exacerbated this problem for me. There are so many more times where I just have to wait for things now. Sometimes I can multitask, and work on two things at once, but often that ends with me doing both things with less craft. So I end up consuming content more, which feels addictive too… and I’m not even talking about TikTok or Instagram or Youtube Shorts (and i don’t judge those who do consume there). I mainly consume longer form Youtube, Podcasts or honestly, TV shows that I’ve seen multiple times before.

It’s like the agentic tools incentivize NOT thinking very hard, and so I do it less, making it more intimidating to start thinking hard about a problem because it feels like a waste of time. Which, paradoxically, is why I think I am consuming much more content than I used to, filling up space with intellectual junk food.

I find that if I'm driving or doing a chore or something, listening to nothing can sometimes be boring, but if I listen to a podcast I'll sometimes get distracted by my own thoughts and miss 5 minutes of it. Music tends to be the sweet spot in the middle where if my mind wants to wander then I'm not missing anything important, but if my mind doesn't want to wander then I still have something for it to focus on.
I've done several solo multi day hikes in the last 6 months, mostly ones where I stayed in a hut or campground at night and socialized around dinner, but hiked solo during the day. No podcast or music, no cell service. It's amazing how quickly I get used to having no input once it's the only thing to do, yet also how quickly I go back to always having a podcast on in the car and for my runs.
This hits home for me. If I have spare time without other peopled my headphones are in. If I'm walking the dog, doing the dishes, mowing my tiny lawn, driving home after dropping kids off I have a podcast or audiobook in my ears.

I read an interview from a musician I'm a fan of where they were responding to "what do you listen to when you are driving?" and they responded along the lines of "I like to listen to the engine and my thoughts". I winced a bit thinking how little time I allow my brain to just do its thing.

There's a researcher at Harvard, Arthur C. Brooks, who wrote a book on this, the importance of the default mode network of the brain that is engaged when you do nothing or are bored.

People who drown out boredom or silence tend to eliminate wandering thoughts, introspection, autobiographical thinking, pondering of relations, effectively the kind of internal reflection that's necessary from time to time. It's pretty common now to hear people say that they're uncomfortable with silence exactly for that reason.

I’m not able to do my work with music, or even noise-canceling headphones. I’ve tried, and it doesn’t work.

I know that I’m unusual, in that sense, but there you have it.

I do listen to music, on my morning walks, though. That’s the only time, during the day, when I do.

This hits home so hard (did I write this?). I'm curious how many are afflicted with this. I don't hear enough people talk about the powerful addiction of "podcasts + headphones". There is an endless amount of content, so if you're not careful, the majority of the voices in your head will not be your own.

This happened to me. I justified it because "I was learning", and "it's like listening to the radio, but better", or "this content is good for me", but when every moment alone is filled with someone else's words and thoughts, you stop having any of your own.

It's always seemed strange to me that it's so common for people to feel the need to have continuous ... radio/podcasts/tv.

It turns out there is a fair amount of research done on this, look into:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_partial_attention

In the past, whenever doing something that didn't require concentration, I would always listen to an audiobook, and sometimes music.

The moment I bought land it stopped. I wanted to be present, to hear the sounds, appreciate the changing seasons. Music and audio books got in the way.

I cancelled spotify and audible and haven't looked back.

Nowadays, I find I am getting back into sitting still and doing nothing, and I have zero desire to give my attention to music of audio books.

I've had a similar experience but more specifically with music. I decided a couple years ago to take a break from listening to music for 3 months. The first afternoon of this experiment showed to me that I was addicted to music and that I hated silence.

I now realize that taking moments to walk, eat, clean the house with nothing to listen to can be really productive and beneficial.

This article also reminds me of a recent video by Simple Lucas: https://youtube.com/watch?v=NZD5IFpyDcE

Interesting, I started to actually do this for about two weeks ago. Calling it "doing one thing at the time" If I eat, I eat. If I walk somewhere, I'm walking. If I'm listening to music, I'm just listening to the music. As far it's been good to me. More energy throughout the days and less things left half done or procrastinated. Though I have noticed I feel bored a lot more often.
A bit surprised at the focus on auditory stimuli here. There is a deeper point about our need for distraction in contemporary society which I think is with thinking about a bit.

You can scroll Twitter / read Hacker News or other sources of comments online, scroll TikTok / YouTube shorts slop-spam, read books, or constantly pipe in music / podcasts in any free moment (and these are very different and all can be good and bad in different ways), but if you are constantly fleeing boredom by grasping for whatever distraction is immediately available (even if this activity is typically seen as good, like "learning" or "reading books", or benign, like listening to music), this constant distraction has negative long-term consequences for personal growth.

There is a reason boredom comes up as crucial and important in spiritual practices (most meditation practices broadly involve forcing you to confront and learn to be comfortable with boredom, to some degree) and existential philosophy, and it is because boredom (especially existential boredom) is one way the mind tells you might not be being properly challenged, or that certain aspects of your life might not be truly fulfilling at the moment.

And sure, sometimes it isn't clear how to fix these issues, so distraction isn't inherently bad. But if all you do is distract, you'll flounder. So be wary IMO of habitually reaching for distraction (even if mild, like music / podcasts).

Contet is created like 1000h every day. You can't consume it all. and it does not change your life. really. I stopped listening all the podcasts, yt-videos and also most times music. I have started my days with an old ipad in the kitchen playing affirmations with subtle background music. Oh boy, it is different momentum! instead of crazy in my head, i get positive thinking loop right from the start of each day. I think the app was manifestyourdreams.app or something like that
I need media to cope with stressful situations - office politics and other difficult situations at work that seem more than I can manage. Audiobooks help me to get my mind off the things that gnaw at me and make it difficult to sleep.

They also make boring work bearable. Terry Pratchett is a huge favorite :-)

I was unemployed for about half a year recently and I got a much less stressful job after that. It's strange because I felt and still feel humiliated about it all and yet actual life has become much better. My behavior at home improved - as noted by my wife. I've got some DIY projects done at home which were pointless (could have paid for them) but very satisfying.

My kid is delightful and although nothing has changed I realised that I am living through one of the golden periods in life - where one doesn't think too much about it but the important things are really good. Stressful work wasn't allowing me to see it and I was numbing life out to try to cope. There have been some very very un-golden times in the past and it is unfortunate not to be able to enjoy the good when it is there.

> it’s my voice. Nobody else has access to it. And it’s an important part of my life.

Beautiful articulation.

If I listen to music and then do something else, I no longer hear the music. So I hardly ever listen to music because I’m always doing something else!
I too try to practice stillness, through silence and meditation. I agree that it is challenging. In stillness, uncomfortable feelings will come up, before they can leave.

Imo, better than the alternative of avoidance. Yet somehow, it is marketed as relaxing. The relaxing part comes after one deals with the unrelaxing part.

I always tell myself to stop listening to media and give myself space, but it's like an automatic process that I turn on some music because it lowers my stress level when initiating a task. But I should probably try this at least when I journal to fully digest any intakes throughout the day and put them into words.
It's hard for me to think > 5mins if I'm in front of my laptop after the the age the ai now. I used to close my eyes and let things run in my head trying to find a solution. but now i will ask the ai if I can figure it out myself in 5 mins.
For things that don't require that much focus like housework I really enjoy this. For things that do require focus (but not necessarily internal monologue) I prefer external stimuli to prevent my mind from wandering.

But I certainly agree that not giving myself the space to explore is detrimental.

Can relate. Though I was never that big into podcast/earphones etc., I had gotten into the habit of instinctively reaching out to play something while driving. However, I stopped doing that and it's so fun to be with myself again, me and my own voice in my head.
I find it odd that others need music or talking to focus. most of the time I prefer silence.
My version of this was getting rid of my smartphone 6 years ago. Creates a forcing function to be in my own head a lot more often, and I feel like this has given me thinking and attention span superpowers.
Reigniting a blog after 14 years should be more common!

A trick I used when I restarted my blog in 2017 after stopping publishing in 2010 was to backfill it with a bunch of content imported from other places - mostly my answers to questions on Quora and Ask MetaFilter.

That's the great thing about having a self-hosted blog: it's your site, you make the rules.

Reclaiming silence is often the only way to hear one's own voice again after years of default distraction.
Sometimes I put my headphones on, just to forget to also put music on. Hours later I realize that it helped me focus anyhow.
I’m over the hill, and I’ve found I just can’t handle the distractions of music or podcasts most of the time. I need silence when working, cooking, reading, etc. There are few situations where I feel I can listen to things i.e. driving so long as I don’t need to focus on them. I’m not sure what changed or if it’s a good thing. Music used to be a huge part of my life, played at all times. Now I have to deliberately do nothing but listen, which gives me a weird sensation of boredom or fidgety anxiety, so I don’t do it very much anymore. I suspect an attention disorder worsened by years of overstimulation.
Great article, I wondered wether there is an existing tool on the market to solve this (generate quizz to make sure devs understand their code).

Apparently some guys made a nice POC during a hackathon: https://devpost.com/software/bananaduck

wow. yeah, can confirm. for me, no podcasts really, no videos on phone, no audiobooks except to fall asleep.

and being forced to be alone with my thoughts is awesome because i am optimized to seize the opportunity.

Is it an AI self-realizing its own existence?
Been talking about it for a while now. U need to let ur brain absorb all of the things you are consuming. Let it marinate.

https://www.unsungnovelty.org/posts/04/2025/you-dont-need-ai...