Ok, please for god sakes don't think I'm here to toot my own horn, but I'm this person you described. I just want to contribute to the discussion.

It's hard sometimes; sometimes its killing you inside that the other person "just doesn't get it". But that's ok! That is why you're employed; to not only develop and operate this complex system, but also to teach it to not only others in your org but also the customers/clients who use it.

"Why can't both databases work together across the country? Can't they be a team?" begin 30 minute conversation about data consistency, master/master configurations, etc

Skills required: Technical ability, patience, adaptability to how others learn and process information.