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Yeah but your day is not something that differs you from the most people, something that many people don't accept, something that you probably have been humiliated for. You're not a “faggot” in high school because you had a bad day. It's something you chose to accept and tell your friends and parents and see some people sneer at you.

I think that pretending to have a wife for the sake of smalltalk feels like going into the closet again, like admitting you must be guilty of something.

1 comments

Why would you need to invent a wife?

Usually when you are making small talk with someone who you will most likely only be in the company of for 5 minutes they are more interested in avoiding awkward silence than actually finding out details about your life.

If you don't bring up a wife they will just as easily assume that you are single or divorced as much as gay.

Besides , people who work in a public facing role like a cab driver or florist will most likely meet gay people all the time and won't find it the slightest bit novel.

Notice that all the examples he gave were cases where a stranger made an assumption that put him in the position of either telling them he was gay or lying about it. It's interesting that commenters here keep having to invent a scenario where the guy was going around shouting to every passerby that he was gay.

Yes, there are no cab drivers anywhere who might be perturbed by someone saying they are gay. Thanks jiggy2011, for reminding everyone that our societies issues around homophobia have been solved once and for all.

Outside of maybe very conservative areas or muslim countries I would imagine a cab driver being perturbed by gay people would not be in the business very long.

I don't hang around in typically "gay" circles or even know that many people in general but I know enough gay people that homosexuality is not surprising for me at all.

For the purposes of casual conversation with strangers, if someone asks about a wife surely it's simple enough to say "I'm not married" and allow them to assume whatever they like unless you feel like sharing more.

But what if you are married, to a man?

In this example, straight people don't have to lie about not being married just to shut down small talk. Instead they use short responses, avoid eye contact, and give off the general vibe that they're not in the mood to talk. But why can't gay people do the same?

The author never said that he wasn't in the mood for small talk. Gay people shouldn't feel any pressure to not engage in this normal human behavior.

> homosexuality is not surprising for me at all.

It's not that it "surprises" a lot of people (although often enough it does), it's that they don't understand it and they don't agree with it, and many feel like their religious beliefs justify being vocal about it. Being trapped in a car with someone like this is uncomfortable, particularly when they could leave you stranded at the drop of a hat.

A friend was recently sexually assaulted by a cab driver who was out on bail and back to work the next day. It's naive to think that because of their job that they are any less prone to having an opinion and saying or doing something socially unacceptable because of it.

Taxi drivers are mainly worried about People being sick in their cab , people who don't pay or people who assault them.

All taxi drivers I have known have met all kinds of somewhat crazy/scary people I would really have a hard time believing that a gay person would be the slightest bit controversial.

Of course there is always some risk but if it is large enough that you are seriously concerned about being randomly assaulted just for being gay you have probably chosen a bad place to live.

There are a lot of muslim cab drivers, even in progressive areas of the country. I think it would not be uncommon to find ones that are uncomfortable with homosexuality.

In my experience with Muslims (in England at least) they really don't care what non muslims do in non muslim countries.

For example Muslims will not drink but almost every off license within a square mile of me is Muslim owned.