Why is dating a game?
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I'm saying why we should see it as a game from game theory and how that will be good thing for people in general?
I don't think it's a matter of "seeing" it as a game. It is a game, in that definition. (As opposed to the "things done for entertainment" definition.)
It's a good thing to look at relationships and coupling as a "game" because too often we treat finding our partner as a "fairy tale" story where it's just a matter of "meeting the right person". That myth does a disservice to everyone: both the couples who find someone but then need to work on the relationship, and the people who have unrealistic expectations and end up alone.
Also, even if it doesn't inform individual choices, it's useful for looking at things in terms of broad demographic trends. If the article is right, it means there's a potential demographic shift coming of fewer children, fewer people with supporting family structure, etc. Understanding the dynamics behind that can be important for planning a society's future.
You meet some people, you date the single ones. If you think/feel fine, you start a relationship with someone. End of the story.
Maybe it's because i don't understand dating as a competitive activity and my social interactions are very limited that i don't understand where are decisions to make (a.k.a, how people "play")
>>Maybe it's because i don't understand dating as a competitive activity and my social interactions are very limited that i don't understand where are decisions to make (a.k.a, how people "play")
Yes, this seems to be the case.
And I don't say that to put you down - I actually used to be the same way. As a highly analytical person working in the engineering field, I used to approach dating as a rational activity. You know, you meet someone, and if the two of you are compatible then you start a relationship. Or at least that's how I thought things should work.
As I got older though, I realized things could not be further from the truth. Dating is an activity that is driven by two things: biological imperative of the two genders (that are different) and the emotions that are governed by those imperatives.
Once I understood that - i.e. once I accepted the politically incorrect fact that we are mammals first and foremost - everything started making a lot more sense.
Do you read Rational Male by chance?
No. What's that?
Nobody is saying it's good for people in general.
It's just an observation that there is conflict of interests in dating/mating dynamics and it's not easy to get what you want so you need strategy to improve your chances hence "game".
You can look at it any way you like. Some of the features of the way dating and mating operates can be modeled in a game theory fashion. It isn’t good or bad for people - nor does it have to be - it’s just a way of interpreting the data in front of us.
Now, the way you guide your own dating life, should, presumably, be done in a way that is good for you and not harmful to others, but this is more of a Golden Rule thing rather than a game theory thing.
If you want to understand how any process with multiple independent agents with not-exactly-matching interests will behave, and why it will behave so, then game theory is the appropriate toolset for that.
Don't get fixated with the 'game' word which has a loaded meaning outside of game theory, it's just a math term here.
How is it not? It has no tangible consequences (assuming no unplanned children/marriage), wastes time and is fun.