The capitalization seems like a really minor issue, easily fixed, and ultimately not that big a deal, but that's Hacker News for you. That said, if you want to be the ee cummings of novelists, go for it. Novel writing is an artform, not a programming language. Cormac McCarthy doesn't use quotation marks, so what. Big deal.
Being a fan of both Adams and Stephenson I want to read this when I get an opportunity, did you write it during NaNoWriMo by any chance?