Most (all?) of the available reverse proxies will stop sending traffic to a server that is offline, but not discover them. There are solutions such as etcd which you can hook into, or you can write a toy application to use UDP-broadcasts to advertise "Hey I'm http://dev.local.com/ on port 4444", but there isn't a lot beyond that.
Templating configuration files and running "haproxy reload" is a common enough middle-ground, but I've seen it fail often. (Specifically keepalived not reloading correctly and still sending traffic to old nodes.)
ObRelated: Varnish is a beast that few people can configure easily. I'd love to work on a caching reverse proxy that was simple, extensible, and fast.