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> Maybe my monad intro could be improved. I’m aware that it doesn’t perfectly explain why lists are also monads.

Actually, I think it does: Because a list is one kind of box.

> But starting the discussion with monoids and the monadic laws closes the conversation. It says this is something unrelated to shipping products. It shouldn’t be in the first paragraph, let alone the first sentence.

Exactly my complaint about most monad explanations. I've been programming for 30 years. Even though I have a bachelor's degree in math, I don't want to wade through abstract algebra before I can acquire a mental hook to hang FP on. First tell my why I should care, and then you can get down to the technical/mathematical details.